Radical Is Me

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Radical? Well, I’m radical. At least I used to be radical. You will judge.

Growing up in this world can sometimes makes you face weird situations that, probably, if things were going exactly as they should have, you wouldn’t even dream of (maybe they are going as they should?).

When I was young I felt that my parents really wanted me to be successful in everything I did and in every activity I’ve participated in. I guess that this is their right to want stuff like that, they made me. And I won’t lie, I liked the benefits that came along with it.

At some point, I’ve became a teenager, it stopped being fun for me. All of a sudden every encouragement to excel became so stressful and instead of trying to reason with me and to show me the benefits they started showing me the downsides of not doing things. For example, if you won’t study, or even not study hard enough, you won’t be able to find a good (“respectable”) job. There is some logic to it, it isn’t necessary but mostly it’s stressful.

Like every balloon, if you will put too much air in it will, eventually, explode. I did, and I was only 14 years old. At first my smartest reaction to this situation was… to still do everything they wanted me to do, but in a really bad way.

After a while I just stopped doing stuff, almost, at all except for hanging out with friends, most of them were ‘shady’, coming home late at night with strong smell of cigarettes (on weekends Alcohol as well). I never showed up for classes, never even thought about making homework and most definitely I never even knew when I have to take exams. I was testing, radically, almost every social convention.

It took me a few years, a lot of troubles, small and unmentionable street fights and sleeping for days at friends’s houses until I snapped out of it. Amusingly I found  myself doing exactly the opposite. Since “I came to my senses” I do things properly, sometimes even too properly – perhaps, in a radical way.

I went to law school. I follow rules, I even feel very bad if I break a “small” one. I started putting peoples feelings in front of my own. I really try to be good to my environment, to my friends, my parents and my wife and dog.

So, I guess I’m radical. No matter the direction I choose or the path I’m walking through, I will do it radically.

 

 

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